Chapter 3: Snow White vs. Mini-Katarzyna

Three Four very important tips for the reader:

1. Never buy a discount twin-sized bed at a store called Cheap Charlie’s.

2. Never sleep on aforementioned twin-sized bed. The springs will poke you in places you never knew existed.

3. Never try to roll over on the twin-sized bed in question. You will end up on the ground in pain, although, admittedly, the ground may be a bit more comfortable.

oh, wait, how could I possibly forget the most important tip of all ……

 4. NEVER SLEEP ON CHEAP TWIN-SIZED BED OUTSIDE! Squirrels and birds will find you interesting and decide to lounge about on you.

I kid you not, I woke up the next day with various woodland creatures surrounding my bed. What am I freaking Snow White? After screaming my head off and cursing my life for about 30 minutes, I poured myself another disgusting bowl of non-sugary Corn Flakes and sat down on my toilet, trying to figure out what to do. I had to get back to SimCity. The only problem was money, or my lack thereof. *sigh* I was going to have to get a job .. a real job. I hadn’t had one of those in, like, ever. Then again, I’ve never been exiled to HickTown and ousted from my modeling career either, I thought bitterly. I may be a bit spacey from time to time, but even I knew I was going to need a job to survive, let alone get out of Riverview. I caught a cab to the local hospital to begin my jobhunt. Working at the hospital would be a piece of cake, I watch Grey’s Anatomy religiously, and, hey, maybe Riverview had its own McDreamy. Seated behind the front desk was a pretty blonde with an unfortunate haircut.

“Hi, my name is Karina Lovelace,” I said, tossing my hair (which so needed washing, by the way, ugh) “and I really need a job.”

She looked at me with a bored look on her face and turned up her nose before completely turning away from me and to her computer screen. Now I’m sure you all have noticed by now that I have my moments where I can be a bit snobbish. At least I have plenty of other redeeming qualities, and I’m like, totally nice to (most) people. Well, okay, maybe- wait, this isn’t about me, don’t mind me, I’m a little Absent-Minded. Anyway this woman was totally rude, especially to have such an atrocious hairstyle. Well, two could play at that game. I tapped my fingers on her computer monitor.

“Excuse me, I was speaking to you,” I said in my snobbiest voice.

 She looked up with a surprised look on her face, which quickly turned to annoyance. “Oh, excuse me, I must have looked right past you,” she said haughtily. I realized that she reminded me of a less attractive version of Katarzyna, which made me dislike her even more. “What are your skills?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m a model,” I said, proudly. Suck on that, Mini-Katarzyna.

“Really, I would have never known by looking at you,” she said, snarkily. “What are your skills?” she asked again.

Was this witch deaf? “I’m a MOD-UHL,” I enunciated slowly. “You know someone who gets paid to look pretty and take pictures? Or maybe you wouldn’t know,” I shot back. To my surprise, instead of responding with another putdown, she cackled loudly.

“A model? I’d hardly consider that a skill,” she said between laughs.

“Yeah, well with a nose like that, I’d like to see you try it, Pinocchio.” I retorted.

Satisfied by the shocked look on her face as she covered her nose, I turned on my Simce and Gabbana heel and strutted out the door. What a cow! She and Katarzyna were obviously related. I walked over to the Doo Peas Corporate Tower, my confidence slightly lowered.

This time the receptionist was a cute guy around my age. This would be easy. I chatted him up and flirted a little, and voila, I got the job. Things were finally looking up and I was one step closer to making it back to SimCity. One tiny step, but a step nonetheless. Feeling ripe, I took a cab to the gym so I could take a shower and wash my hair . I figured I may as well make some friends while I was there, and I was in dire need of some male company to boost my spirits.

This guy’s name was Don Lothario, and let’s just say he was so not the type I typically go for. We were at the gym, what on earth was with that pimp-suit? He flirted so much it was like it was his job. He couldn’t stop checking me out, and I could practically see the thoughts of WooHoo-ing me dancing around his head. Hello, goodbye, creep.

Next, there was Hal Breckenridge. Man, was he a cutie. And his body was straight out of an Abercrombie ad.

We chatted for a little while, but I soon realized he had Commitment Issues, and the last thing I needed was another heartbreak to add on to my recent drama. Oh well, I thought as I turned to leave, It’s not like I need a man to … my train of thought was derailed when I saw him.

He was just standing there watching me from across the stairs. I could tell he was on his way to the pool because he was in his swimming trunks, and can I just say I appreciated the view? I walked over to introduce myself. His name was Rodrick and he was just about the sweetest guy I had ever met. And boy was he adorable. The cornrows were a no-no, but I could deal with them for now.

 

 

We chatted for about an hour, in which I learned that he was a Natural Cook, very Artistic, and loved gardening. How adorable is that? The next thing I knew it was dark. Knowing I had to be up early for work the next day, I gave Rodrick my number and flirtatiously told him to call me sometime. As I walked away from him with an extra sway in my hips, I found myself hoping and praying that he would call. God, I was already smitten.

  That night, my cornflakes didn’t taste quite as disgusting and bland.

I even found myself smiling as I relaxed on top of my sucky little twin bed.

Of course, that could be because I was thinking of my favorite subject …

…. but I’d like to think Rodrick had something to do with it too.

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